When Everything Has Been Drained: Living With Exhaustion in a Long War
What Exhaustion Actually Looks Like
This is not ordinary tiredness. This is waking up already depleted. It may look like struggling to get out of bed, losing interest in things that once mattered, feeling a fog settle over your thoughts so thickly that even simple decisions become difficult. Everything irritates — sounds, messages, other people's voices. And underneath all of it, a quiet, cruel thought: others are managing, and I am not.
These are not signs of personal failure. They are predictable responses of a nervous system that has been cycling through the same loop — alert, mobilize, hold on — without a real break. Under prolonged traumatic stress, the body eventually stops being able to sustain that tension. What you feel is a signal, not a verdict.
Small Steps, No Heroism Required
Recovery under war conditions does not begin with grand gestures. It begins with the smallest possible action that feels manageable right now.
Gentle breathing is one of the most accessible tools. Sit or lie down however feels comfortable. Breathe in naturally, then let the exhale run slightly longer than the inhale — count of 3 in, count of 4 or 5 out. Do this for five to seven cycles. Then slowly move your attention through the body: feet, legs, belly, chest, shoulders, face. At each area, say quietly to yourself: you can relax a little — as much as you are able to. You do not need full relaxation. Even two or three areas softening slightly is enough.
The 3 Neutral Things exercise works when thoughts are spinning. Look around and name three things you can see — not beautiful, not terrible, just neutral facts: a grey chair, a white mug, a window. Then name three sounds. Then three physical sensations — your feet on the floor, warmth in your hands, tension in your shoulders. The goal is not positive thinking. It is simply showing the nervous system that alongside all the heaviness, a stable, neutral space also exists.
One very small task can quietly counter the whisper that says there is no point, I cannot do anything. Choose something that genuinely does not feel frightening: move a cup from the sink to the shelf, open a window for one minute, send two words to someone you trust. Do only that one thing. Notice that you did it. In a long war, what matters is not the scale of the action — it is the felt sense that something in your life still responds to you.
What Makes Exhaustion Deeper
Some habits feel like relief but quietly worsen the depletion. Piling new obligations onto an already empty tank — I should be volunteering more, I should be stronger than I was last year — simply finishes what little reserve remains. Comparing yourself to others and concluding you are failing is not a fact; it is the voice of a tired nervous system. Endless news scrolling, extra coffee, energy drinks offer a brief lift and a deeper crash. And neglecting food, water, and sleep — which can feel trivial amid everything — only digs the exhaustion further.
Try not to eliminate all of these at once. Just reduce one, a little, today.
When Another Person Is Needed
There is a point beyond ordinary exhaustion — when for weeks you cannot manage basic tasks, when nothing feels meaningful, when getting out of bed feels impossible not from physical tiredness but from a deep inner emptiness. If thoughts appear — there is no point in living, it would be better if I didn't exist — that is not exaggeration. That is a clear signal that human support is needed, not more solitary endurance.
You do not need the right words. It is enough to say honestly: things are very hard for me, and I am not coping. To someone close, to a doctor, to a psychologist, to a crisis line. If professional services are not accessible, the most important thing is not to remain completely alone — at least one person should know how you are doing.
You can learn more by reading our e-book or listening to our audiobook
Mykola Iabluchanskyi (Yabluchansky)
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